My friend Moira
and I have a standing joke together. It has its origins in a laugh we have at
her Mother’s expense. Mrs McDonald, who is a lovely woman, is always concerned
to do the right thing. This sometimes means that it is difficult to make a
decision about a particular course of action or set of arrangements. As she
weighs up the pros and cons of any action she often declares that it is ‘…so
difficult to know the right thing to do…’
She is
particularly worried about upsetting or offending people and exercises extreme
caution and diplomacy. If it’s a fault, it’s not a bad fault to have, but to
this day Moira and I can be a bit withering as we roll our eyes and repeat her
declaration.
But y’know…it really can be difficult to know the
right thing to do.
This week has
presented me with lots of challenges and asked me to make some important
decisions. They are not so much about actions that I have to take but more
about the kinds of decisions I make about how to see and understand some things
going on around me.
I’m very conscious that a lot rests on these decisions…I’ve been thinking about them in terms of getting the right outcome…the one that works best for me and puts me in the best position. I’ve been playing a mental game of chess as I’ve maneuvered people and situations in my mind. And to be honest with you, I’m exhausted and not all that happy with myself…
I heard some
words this morning from the poet and visionary, Wendell Berry. He said:
‘We don’t have the right to think of whether we’ll
succeed or not, we only have the right to think, ‘Is this the right thing to
do?’
His words have
been with me all day like a cool hand on a hot forehead. In the midst of all of
my thinking and strategizing about how to put myself in the most successful
position, I’ve known the right thing to do…the generous, open thing…the thing that
would keep my nose out of other people’s business…
My ‘best self’
has known what to do all along…the really difficult thing is doing it…
I'm discovering that, in these circumstances, doing the right thing isn't really the thing that I most want to do...and it might mean a bit of strife a bit down the track...but I think that it's right for me...not everyone's choice but right for me...
So...now to just do it...
“You
must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right.”
Rosa Parks (1913-2005);
Civil Rights Activist
Civil Rights Activist
